30 Crazy Car Rules


1. Towels on the seat are a must. This is a rule for so many reasons.
2. Original floor mats are stored in the garage.
3. If you put one visor down, they both must be down.
4. If you drive a convertible, the top cannot be put down if your car is dirty.
5. OMG if you drive a convertible you cannot drive around with the top down and windows up… you big nerd. (Sorry, but not sorry!)
6. You cannot race in a dirty car unless it is absolutely necessary. The order is: eye contact, slight smile, then license plate. If you do it right, they’ll never notice the dirt. (Side note: guys might not smile right before they kick someone’s ass, but this girl does. It seems to soften the sting a bit.)
7. I never take my car to the shop unless it’s clean. But if I have to the guys at my Ford dealership will wash my car before I get it back. Thanks Dave Sinclair Ford!
8. After receiving a speeding ticket wait the proper amount of time before ignoring the 35 MPH signs again. In our house we keep a lawyer on retainer.
9. After washing, dry off every inch including inside the trunk and inside the gas cap door. No rust for the weary! And it just plain looks cool if you dry your windshield off with the wipers up.
10. Never share the coveted car drying towels with others, even members of your own family. I use a well-worn, very soft Lion King beach towel. It went missing once until I finally figured out I had hidden it. Oh, my!
11. Carry plenty of small, clean towels with you along with a squirt bottle filled with water. I found this out the hard way. One of my first cruises in the Mustang I was bombed by a bird that had eaten purple berries. I had to pull into a Penn Station Sub lot and ask to borrow a cup of water and some napkins.
12. Back into your parking spot whenever possible. You’ll just look cooler that way. It is so “off the line” to be facing the right direction when pulling away.
13. Never park next to other cars. There are a lot of people out there who just don’t understand.
14. When eating at a restaurant sit near the window so you can see your car.
15. Don’t let anyone else wash your car. When passing by those high school band/athletic fund raising car washes I will stop and hand them a few dollars, then politely say “there is no way you’re washing my car!” No I don’t really say that. What I do say is, “my husband has only driven it 5 times in the last 9 years, so no thanks.”
16. Don’t carpool with anyone who drinks open cups of coffee, carries large sets of keys. To be on the safe side, don’t carpool. After all, you knowingly chose to drive something that isn’t fuel-efficient. I always laugh at the question: “How many miles to the gallon does it get?” Really?!
17. Windows down, heat on, and music up in the coldest temperature you can stand. My personal limit is 40 degrees.
18. There should be a limit on how many times someone sees the make of your car on your car. Do you really need a Subaru license plate frame to tell everyone you are driving a Subaru? Seriously, why are you driving a Subaru anyway?
19. Absolutely NO reindeer antlers. While I’m at it…no wreaths, antenna balls, family sticky decals…
20. You’re just goofy if you don’t wear your seatbelt. There is nothing cool about trying to look cool if your safety is at risk. After all you’ll need it to lock into place at the end of your mini stoplight-to-stoplight drag with the cocky little Camaro next to you. (Side note: What! How can the word Camaro not be in the dictionary? Time to write someone about that.)
21. “Don’t you dare touch my windows,” says my car enthusiast son!
22. Don’t do anything to draw attention to yourself. Ha! Just kidding.
23. Dancing in your car is absolutely acceptable. After all you’re car makes you happy.
24. It isn’t speeding just because you reach the speed limit after getting second gear scratch.
25. Never, ever lean on your car or anyone else’s. EVER!
26. It’s not the car that makes the driver; it’s the driver that makes the car.
27. Hey! You are way too close to my bumper!
28. Don’t do anything that wouldn’t make Robert Peterson proud.
29. Do everything that would make your own father proud.
30. If you love your car there are never too many rules.

About Debbie

Love cars, love writing, love family...that about does it.
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